Flagship Location to Open Inside Trump Tower
Parody & Satire
In a press event that immediately stunned the nation into disbelief, President Donald Trump and New York City’s newly minted socialist mayor, Zoran Mamdani, emerged from the Oval Office to announce a joint fast-food venture called MamDonald’s — a collaboration described by aides as “whatever,” and “nothing surprises us, anymore.”
Trump, reading from a gold-embossed cue card that appeared freshly printed, called the partnership “absolutely historic,” praising MamDonald’s as “the most incredible, socialist-adjacent fast-food concept ever imagined by a capitalist genius like myself.”
He veered off-script within seven seconds.
“I knew the meeting was going to go well the moment I walked in and caught him using my gold-plated urinal,” Trump told reporters. “I can do that, you know — just walk in. Because I’m the President. It’s a presidential inspection. I inspect!”
What followed was a story no one needed to hear.
“I’ve told my Arnold Palmer story before, everybody knows that one. But this? Completely different. I actually called Secret Service because for a second I thought he smuggled in a bazooka. A bazooka! I thought he was going to jihad me! Yep! Bazooka Mamdani! That’s what I’m gonna call him from now on! BA-ZOOKA! Bazooka Mamdani! Not Bazooka Joe! We don’t like the name Joe around here. Not after what BIDEN did to this country!”
Mayor-elect Mamdani told reporters,
“I’m not sure what is going on, but it’s weird around here. I think we had a productive meeting. President Trump asked me for fashion advice. I can’t wait to get back to New York City.”
